When It’s Too Much: Sensory Overload, Motherhood, and Neurodivergence

You’re standing in the kitchen. One kid’s yelling for snacks, the other’s pulling on your shirt. The dishwasher is humming, the dog’s barking, your phone just pinged — and suddenly, it’s like your whole body wants to scream. But you don’t. You clench your jaw.

You push it down. You try to keep going.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to sensory overload — a reality for so many mothers, especially those who are neurodivergent.

While the Scary Mommy article on overstimulation offers a raw and relatable take on this experience, there’s also a whole world of neuroscience underneath that moment of “I can’t take this anymore.” Let’s unpack it — with compassion, curiosity, and just enough science to make sense of what’s happening in our brains.

What Is Sensory Overload?

Sensory overload is what happens when your brain is bombarded by more input than it can effectively process. It’s like having too many tabs open in your brain, with notifications going off from every direction — sound, light, touch, smell, temperature, internal body cues — all competing for attention.

For neurotypical brains, there’s usually a filter system that helps prioritise what’s important and block out the rest.

But for neurodivergent folks — especially those with ADHD, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, or AuDHD — that filter is often missing, faulty, or turned way down.

The result? Everything comes in. All at once. And fast.

What’s Actually Happening in the Brain?

When you're overstimulated, your nervous system is going into overdrive:

• The amygdala (your brain’s fear and threat centre) becomes hyperactive.

• The prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision-making and regulation) struggles to stay online.

• Your body may trigger a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response.

  
  

It’s not just “being dramatic.” It’s a real neurobiological response to an overwhelming environment.

Why It’s So Common in Neurodivergent Mothers

Many neurodivergent mothers (diagnosed or not-yet-diagnosed) are operating under constant sensory pressure. Consider this:

• ADHD brains struggle with executive functioning, meaning switching tasks or managing multiple demands is exhausting.

• Autistic individuals may have heightened sensory sensitivity, leading to quicker overload from things like lights, textures, or background noise.

• Many neurodivergent people have a reduced ability to filter out “irrelevant” stimuli — so there is no “background noise.” It’s all foreground.

  
  

And if you're a parent? Multiply that by 10.

Add to that the mental load of remembering appointments, making meals, anticipating meltdowns (theirs or yours), and doing all of it while sleep-deprived — and it’s no wonder your nervous system waves the white flag.

The Sensory Profiles Explained

Most neurodivergent individuals experience sensory processing differences that fall into these profiles:

• Sensory seeking- Craves intense input (e.g. loud music, tight hugs, movement)

• Sensory Avoiding - Tries to reduce or escape input (e.g. needs silence, avoids crowds)

• Low Registration - May not notice input until it’s overwhelming (e.g. doesn’t notice hunger or noise until it’s urgent)

• Sensory Sensitive - Easily overwhelmed by subtle input (e.g. tags in shirts, humming lights, chewing noises)

You may resonate with more than one — and that’s completely normal.

“But I Held It Together… Until I Didn’t.”

Overstimulation can sneak up on you. You may seem calm, competent, capable. But inside, your nervous system is screaming, trying to hold it all together until one small thing — a spilled cup, a loud noise, someone asking a question — tips it over the edge.

Cue: shutdown, irritability, snapping, dissociation, tears in the pantry, or that hollow numbness that feels like checking out.

This is not failure. It’s your brain and body asking for a break.

So What Can Help?

Here are some science-backed, neurodivergent-friendly strategies to reduce sensory overload and support your system:

1. Reduce the input

• Use noise-cancelling headphones (Loops, etc)

• Dim lights, wear sunglasses indoors, or use warm-toned bulbs

• Create quiet zones in your home (even if it’s just the bathroom)

  
  

2. Name it

• Saying “I’m overstimulated” out loud helps others understand and can de-shame the experience.

• You can also use a code word with your partner or kids.

  
  

3. Regulate your nervous system

• Try deep pressure (weighted blankets, firm hugs, or pressing your hands into a wall)

• Use movement (rocking, swaying, walking)

• Practice vagus nerve resets (like humming, deep belly breaths, or cold water on the face)

  
  

4. Plan micro-breaks

• Build intentional sensory breaks into your day (even 2 minutes can make a difference)

• Know your sensory “green zones” — quiet coffee, warm baths, fidget toys, or nature

  
  

5. Advocate and set boundaries

• “I can’t answer questions while driving.”

• “Let’s take turns talking — I’m getting overwhelmed.”

• “I need a 5-minute quiet break before we keep going.”

You’re Not Broken — You’re Processing Differently

If you’ve felt guilt, shame, or like you’re "too sensitive," "too reactive," or "too much" — you’re not. You may just be wired differently, in a world that’s way too loud, bright, fast, and demanding.

Sensory overload isn’t a personal failing. It’s a physiological response that deserves recognition, respect, and care.

Let this be your permission slip to take your needs seriously — to advocate for a softer world, and to rest when the world feels too loud.

Because you're doing enough. And you deserve support too.

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates with you, check out our resources on:

• Understanding Sensory Processing & the Sensory Cup

• Neurodivergent Burnout Recovery

• Parenting While Neurodivergent

• Interoception & Emotional Regulation

We offer coaching, ND-affirming courses, and real-life strategies for people who are finally learning to live in a way that honours how their brain actually works — not how the world told them they should be.